And I truly think that we’re questing after something that’s not only impossible but not even desirable. If you are experiencing a mental health emergency, call 9-1-1. Growing up as a highly sensitive person (HSP), I often felt flawed, inferior, and overwhelmed. Sharon Martin is a licensed psychotherapist and codependency expert practicing in San Jose, CA. Are you goal-driven, always busy, and have a hard time relaxing? You might find these ideas helpful: Overcoming perfectionism means you choosing to accept yourself and enjoy your life despite its imperfections. ©2020 Sharon Martin, LCSW. amzn_assoc_ad_type = "smart"; I was deeply affected by anything even remotely sad – movies, books, or news stories about suffering – and I didn’t feel like I fit in. Underneath perfectionism is a desire for approval and to connect. This page may contain affiliate links which means I receive a small commission on items purchased. We all know that comparing ourselves to others makes us feel worse, not better about ourselves. It isn't intended to diagnose or treat any mental health problems and is not intended as psychological advice. All rights reserved. Perfectionism isn’t just a desire to be the best. Affirmations can be a helpful tool; they serve to remind us of our goals and how we want to think. People-pleasing and perfectionism are like shields that hide and protect your true self. amzn_assoc_marketplace = "amazon"; He was up at five o’clock in the morning, seven days a week, headed to the gym and then to work, and often wasn’t home until after nine at night. Sharon writes the popular blog Happily Imperfect for PsychCentral.com and is the author of the book The CBT Workbook for Perfectionism. However, Jacqueline’s mother was too distracted and busy working to realize that Jacqueline passed up party invitations and dating in order to study. In this episode, Diana interviews Sharon Martin, LCSW, an expert on perfectionism, about the underpinnings of perfectionism and CBT strategies to let go of your self-critic and find more balance. Yet, perfectionists often find themselves disconnected from their values and fearing other’s judgment. Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 59:14 — 54.2MB) | Embed, Subscribe for FREE: Apple Podcasts | Android | Google Podcasts | Stitcher | TuneIn | Spotify | RSS | More. Someday, you’re going to be someone important. 901 Campisi Way #150 The CBT Workbook for Perfectionism: Evidence-Based Skills to Help You Let Go of Self-Criticism, Build Self-Esteem, and Find Balance, Stop Blaming Yourself for Everything: 3 Self-Compassion Practices That Work, How Codependents Can Step Into Their Circle of Control, Parentified Child: When a Child has to Act Like an Adult. The fallacy that perfectionism is helpful (or even necessary for success) persists because we still idealize perfectionism.
There are no more funny stories about how you burned the Thanksgiving turkey. Sharon Martin is a licensed psychotherapist and codependency expert practicing in San Jose, CA. Perfectionism can also be learned by children growing up with goal-oriented, driven, perfectionist parents who modeled or rewarded this way of thinking and acting. Demanding parenting erodes a child’s self-esteem. And there’s no reason that we can’t accept our imperfections and value them as important learning opportunities. Sharon Martin, LCSW. So, I want to share 12 tips for overcoming perfectionism and being kinder to yourself. Helping. And those predisposed to perfectionism may respond by trying to control everything, wanting it to be perfect, and only seeing one “right” way to do things. This site is for informational purposes only. ©2019 Sharon Martin, LCSW.
Others are overwhelmed by chronic stressors such as a very sick child, unemployment, poverty, health problems, or living in a violent community. Try doing things for the experience, for fun, or because you’ve always wanted to try them, not because you’re good at them or to please others. Sharon Martin, MSW, LCSW, is a psychotherapist, writer, speaker, and media contributor on emotional health and relationships. amzn_assoc_asins = "159285849X";
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